Harry Potterin' (I coined it! It's mine!!)

From an e-mail I sent on July 15th...
We saw [Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince] beginning at 11:59 pm...[Tuesday evening, the 14th] there was a costume contest (I'd call it a "get-up" contest, since so much of Harry Potterin' draws from one's own scarf collection) in which Amber competed, but unfortuntely didn't win (there was a flock of boisterious thespians charming the audience from the outset). Amber did a lovely turn as "Tonks," the pink-haired witch in love with a werewolf, even performing a flourish with her cape to woo the crowd, but to no avail. These thespians came as predictable "Harry, Ron, Hermione, ... Hoo!" Who? Who but a giddy young thing dressed (sparingly) as Hedwig, Harry's owl. Still, their exuberance had won everyone over. These four were part of a group that formed an impromptu choir that happily entertained the rest of the crowd with a song from "Potter Puppet Pals" of YouTube notoriety. ("Snape, Snape, Severus Snape... Dumbledore!!...")

As you know I'm wont to tear movies to shreds, and despite myself I couldn't help but laugh when I believe I was meant to, mourn when it was intended, or just be enthralled over all by the movie. It struggles during some of the first few moments, especially if you've read the book recently and observe some of the changes made, but on the whole I can say that I'm in love with this movie. I'm putting it right up there with some legendary favorites, because David Lynch, the director, seems to have treated the Potterverse with uncanny sensitivity, if only for the fans, and yet managed to compress the considerable length of the book into a cohesive, charming, and I daresay epic couple of hours. I could go on gushing, but I think I'll let you discover for yourself the estimable joys of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince...

I saw the above while perusing Ryan Wood's links. It's by someone named Ani, in Bordeaux, France. It's possibly the most charming thing I can recall seeing for a long time. Perhaps I've become resentful of illustration (to the extent that I've begun loathing a lot of it) because I cannot seem to find the time to do it.

Just thought that if anyone should read this, they'd get a kick out the ogre's expression, the lovely glow billowing across his bulk, etc.

Le sigh

Thankfully I have emerged from my young days of summers past of braving the risky summer movie roulette wheel and regularly having my hopes dashed (not to mention my pocket book) a little wiser. No, I will NOT be seeing the new Transfomers movie, prompted both by the fear that the aforementioned stirs within me but numerous reviews and my wife's persistent scoffing.

I did find an article that in a tangential way reflects my current thinking.

The general critical response to Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is mostly a mad rush to find the right metaphor to describe how it feels to be trapped in a working food blender for two and a half hours. Although many critics have also generously found time to despise the plot, the characters, the dialogue and the special effects, it’s the two and a half hours that seems to grate the most. What does this movie think it is? Titanic?

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is indeed way too long, but that’s part of movie-making this year. At the recent Cannes film festival, film after film unspoiled at unconscionable length — “two and a half hours is the new 90 minutes,” someone said...

...In this company two-hour movies — like Ang Lee’s Taking Woodstock — seemed modest. But not as modest as Wild Grass (Les Herbes Folles), a lovely little bit of ambiguity by French master Alan Resnais that managed to tell a complex, teasing little story of love and obsession in 104 minutes. It was announced this week that Wild Grass is coming to the Toronto film festival, along with another movie from a legendary director, Manoel de Oliveira’s Eccentrities of a Blonde-Haired Girl, which is also about love and obsession. It runs for 63 minutes.

Significantly, Renais is 89 years old and Oliveira turns 101 in December: they understand about time. It’s precious, and who has two and a half hours to spend on robots?

Taken from canada.com

I'm not much for politicking and its accordant contention, but this flash movie by JibJab is just too awesome to resist...

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

More antics...

K says:
Yeah...I meant to explain further. As you would guess, I prefer quiet entrances.
Darth Vitreoussays:
again... ninja
I find that happens more when I leave...
my exits can be "spectral"
but I'm almost the first one here and there are three people present
so I have to say "hi" or else they might feel slighted...
but you can be a ninja...
I won't MAKE you say hi...
I'll just try to be better at detecting the faint passage of air to my left or right
and be prepared to dodge shurikens and nunchuks
*I apologize: there's really no way to describe the subtle movement of a ninja without making it sound like a fart*

Transformers Revisited

A recent messenger convo with my boss: (I'm Darth Vitreous).

Darth Vitreous says:
I have a confession to make
W says:
yes?
Darth Vitreous says:
I recently discovered that I'm angry at the Transformers movie
W says:
Pray telll
Darth Vitreous says:
I liked Shia LeBeouff
and I LOVE the Transformers
especially good ol' Optimus Prime
but two things destroyed that movie (and possibly the franchise) for me forever
W says:
*gasp*
Darth Vitreous says:
1)John Turturro
2)Megan Fox
I think I posted something about this on my blog
lol
but John Turturro's character was neither funny or fearsome to me
and he had to be either
but was annoying
and awkward
W says:
I concur, I didn't see his character as necessary
Darth Vitreous says:
Megan Fox does not represent 99.9% of the high school level population on this planet
and not many girls I knew would slither around a car like a centerfold
that is, she seemed (and still does) like a hormonal ploy
and that irritates me
the character would have been much more interesting if she were less Maxim-esque and more bookish, quirky, intelligent, dramatic, spooky, sullen, etc.
that is, if she were a character and not a pin-up
those are my two main problems
the one saving grace is Peter Cullen's voice returning as Optimus Prime
W says:
indeed; had they had someone different I don't know that I could have seen the movie...
Darth Vitreous says:
this is what I posted on my blog on July 4th, 2007

I won't bother with summary, etc. but will say that fans of the cartoon will feel a renewed sense of manly security when they hear Optimus Prime's booming, pseudo-synthesizer radiating in voice over and reminding we measly humans that all will be well. The voice (done by Peter Cullen, who, incidentally, is also the voice of Eeyore) silences the noise of terrorism (a la rumors of war), government and corporate corruption, or even the daily mundanities of trying to muck out a living. It's downright therapeutic. I may just get the movie only to replay those moments when I'm stressed.

W says:
well said!
Darth Vitreous says:
I just had to get that off my chest...
lol

On Putrescent Pond...

I chanced upon this in a random search about a disease caused by fecal matter in swimming pools (don't ask, I saw a commercial once), and saw the author's name. It's just too stupendous!!!
Enjoy!

Jedi Knight: Jedi Outcast

Some screenshots from the good old days, when one could while one's life away using Jedi powers playing capture the flag.

I loved to use the codes to summon twenty Luke Skywalkers to come to my aid, or to have bad and good Jedi scrap en masse. Naturally such epic battles crashed my computer. A lot.





And then were times I'd just spawn characters from the air using noclip, or hover over them, force-lift them up and drop them, or blitzkrieg them mercilessly.







And then on occasion, I'd actually play online :) (To the clan of JC2—may its legacy never die—and other good-humored gamers, thanks for the memories!)

LearnKey

This is what I spend my time (occasionally) doing at LearnKey in Cedar City. I make slides to tell people how to use programs or develop business acumen. I also listen to movie soundtracks and do little animations...

Painting III Project

Calling all models w/in the Cedar City area! :) I am an Illustration major at SUU, and am currently doing three paintings that could be called "fantasy portraits." My project demands three different figures in dramatic costume. (I'll be photographing you in said costume.) I'd really like to get my painting underway, and I could offer a (very) modest compensation (as in $10 or so for a solid hour's time).

The following are the ideal models I have in mind (expecting average height for costume purposes):
1) Female, age 20-35, light blonde (long hair), blue eyes, fair skin, body type: slender; mood words: fear, alarm, melancholy.
2) Male, age 20-35, dark brown (very short- "Caesar"), dark eyes, dark olive/pale brown skin, body type: built but still having a neck; mood words: sullen, weary, angry.
[3) Female, age 20-35, red hair, green/hazel eyes, freckled skin, body type: slender, petite?; mood words: fierce, suspicion, pensive.
If you approximate the above descriptions, (even if you don't have the exact hair color), please contact me!
There's no modeling experience required, but a talent/taste for acting would be ideal!

The best way to reach me would be via e-mail (with included photos of yourself!)

Twilight

So I haven't seen the movie, and despite my wife's protests, likely won't before Christ shows up. Still, we're sitting together at the SUU library and looking at reviews. Metacritic.com includes some scathing stuff. Peter Vondar Haar of "Film Threat" quips "Q: When is a vampire not a vampire? A: When it goes out in daylight, sees itself in a mirror, doesn’t drink human blood, and still manages to suck."

Love Your Body, Drop Dead Refreshing!

So here I am, trying to be productive: as I'm waiting for LiveTrace ™ to do its thing, I look for poster contests, something to get my perennially stunted art career going. I go to the first viable link that Google coughs up—which this time, miracle of miracles, happens to be the first link on their main list—and I arrive at a "Love your Body" contest, which, while being clearly out of my purview, since it seems that their winners—(that I can see)—have all been female, nonetheless seems worth investigating. So, as per the instructions in the contest, I attempt to familiarize myself with just what Loving One's Body means. In perusing the offending ads, I chuckled... at this.
And what made me laugh wasn't the clearly sexual overtone of the image; clearly, using an image of a woman as a vessel for liquor, and that too shapely (and therefore not in line with any equitably realistic portrayal of the female body) is offensive, not just to women, but men also (whether they know it or not). But at first read I truly thought that "OFFENSIVE TO WOMEN" was part of the ad. "Offensive to Women. Drop Dead Refreshing." It smacks of the Man Show, of course, but NOW had plastered Offensive all over the ads it deemed (and rightly so) degenerate. I missed it! A case of male insensitivity? or is it just poor visual communication? You decide... (I hope not so much of the former...)

Twice dumbstruck

Twice today I've been dumbstruck by the frightening parallels between declining Book of Mormon civilizations and the global downspiral I'm reading about in the news. The Book of Mormon tells that the ancient societies of this continent began their destruction with elitist notions of fashion, on a number of occasions. I'm interpreting things loosely here, but when Mormon records that pride, in particular that which had to do with the "wearing of costly apparel" preceded a division "into classes" and a subsequent persecution of Christ's apostles, even so much as to attempt to murder them, I see the tell-tale warning regarding our day. According to a study by labor economist Lynn A. Karoly, the income gap in the United States is widening, with, in fact, the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer.

I also just read a remarkable article about the housing crisis in the New York Times dated Monday, April 14th, 2008 (today) that uses fairly circuitous language in placing blame for economic woes. Isn't it clear to everyone that the United States has again placed the world in crisis because of an irresponsible lust for prestige, or at the very least for property? According to the article by Mark Landler, the struggling housing market's effect is rippling across the globe, mostly induced by a lack of consumer confidence, even across the Atlantic. In markets where things were hot, like East Europe and Hong Kong, things are cooling considerably. Yet much of the language lays blame to some economic deus ex machina, the proverbial hand of fate, for the problem. It seemed reminiscent of the peoples of the Book of Mormon, who would reject the wisdom of the prophets and then lament their dead, their starvation, etc. though had they heeded God's direction they would have continued to prosper.

I'd use more references to make the correlation more apparent, but I've lingered long enough and need to get home to my sweetheart and son.

YES! I BELIEVE IN HARVEY DENT! and, if pigs have learned to fly, Hollywood

It's happened to me again. A few years ago I would spend nearly every weekend at a movie theater, compelled by the power of fast-paced movie trailers and the general buzz of "blockbuster" to believe. Some time last year I didn't think that the upcoming summer would be as incredible; let's face it, after paying decent money to see films like Baby Geniuses and Catwoman in one's lifetime, wouldn't one expect to stumble out of a Saturday morning matinée—it was the "Early Bird" at Cinemark—and feel as though one had been bamboozled? In a major studio somewhere there's a chortling bulbous-nosed, ruddy-complexioned bigwig with a fat cigar who has me to thank for it.

And yet here I sit, enthralled by a series of movies that look to restore my faith in Hollywood. (I know, I know I'm a glutton for punishment—this and other frailties have already been elucidated here in my corner of cyberspace.)

Here's my tentative wish list for this summer

• May 02nd

  Iron Man



• May 23rd

  Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull



• June 13th

  The Incredible Hulk
  OR possibly AND
  The Happening
  



• June 20th

  Get Smart



• June 27th

  Wall-E
  AND most likely NOT
  Wanted
  



• July 4th

  Hancock



• July 11th

  Hellboy II: The Golden Army



• July 18th

  The Dark Knight



• July 25th

  Untitled X-files

Whew!!! Links galore!

At any rate, folks... I'm a gonna' be watchin' movies come May!!!

In the Name of the Killjoy

Egad. Sakes alive. *&$%@# all ta' ...---well, you know. Why? Why Hollywood!?! Why would you reduce something as mirthfully goofball and miraculously playable as Dungeon Siege by making a shoddy Uwe Boll (a la Blood Rayne!---gah! I know! I know!) flick out of it! I speak of In the Name of the King, a film which prematurely attempts to associate itself with a much grander picture. Now, I won't berate the cast. I think Jason Statham, Ray Liotta, John Rhys-Davies and Leelee Sobieski, to name a few, aren't the worst players in the world. If anything it might be mildly amusing compared to Eragon, which, as you know, oh faithful cyberspace, was cinematic feces. But then Eragon also touted Jeremy Irons and John Malkovich in its cast.

I know that to most of the planet, video games are cultural detritus, technology's answer to several millenia's culmination of male aggression and sexual objectification of women. Still, in a few ephemeral moments, one is truly transported to beautiful landscapes, vividly visceral battles, and profound moments of masculine introspection. Immersion of the kind that only video games can produce asks more of a director than a peripheral preproduction and a fly-by-night screenwriter.

I dare not rant more. It just sickens me that my periodic delight has become so much fodder for feeble storytelling.

Tomorrow is an important day. It will mark one month since the uprisings in Burma were at their peak, and yet little has changed for its people. Here's the info from Campaign for Burma (U.S.):

Saffron Revolution in Numbers (From Asia Pacific People's Partnership on Burma (APPPB)

In total there have been 227 protests openly defying the military regime. On September 24 alone, over 1,000,000 people took to the streets in 26 cities and towns across Burma, marching for freedom and a better life.1
In total, demonstrations have taken place in 66 cities across the country in all 7 states and all 7 divisions.2
So far an estimated 3000 protesters have been detained. This includes at least 1,400 monks and nuns3
On August 21, 13 leaders of the 88 Generation Students Group were arrested. On average, they have already spent 30% of their life behind bars.
In the bloody crackdown that began on September 26, more than 200 people have been killed.4 The ruling State Peace and Development Council (SPDC) only claims that 9 have been killed.
In the crackdown, 1 Japanese journalist was killed, at least 5 other journalists were arrested and 10 were injured or harassed.5
Before August 21, there were 1158 political prisoners in Burmese prisons.6
At least 1,000 people have been disappeared during the Saffron Revolution.7
At 11am on September 28, the SPDC shut down the country's only public web server. This prevented Burmese people from getting urgent messages to the world
The protests started after the SPDC increased the price of fuel by as much as 500% 90% of families in Burma live near or at the poverty line ($1 US a day).8

1 Forum for Democracy in Burma (FDB) estimate
2 FDB estimates.
3 Democratic Voice of Burma (DVB) estimate
4 DVB estimate
5 Reporters Sains Frontiers (RSF) (30 September 07), 'At least five journalists arrested in Rangoon, including Japanese daily’s correspondent',
6 AAPP,
7 AAPP,
8 United Nations Survey

It may seem that a place like Burma (now called Myanmar) seems so far away. But the calamities, the casualties, the human rights abuses are very real. Go to www.uscampaignforburma.org to see how you can help.

Sunsets and snacking on salami

We're settling in: couches have all been aligned, the litter box properly located, and various accoutrements recently sheared of a year's worth of dust have sprung up on the walls. Some shattered ceramics from a trip to Mexico have been gingerly daubed with Gorilla glue; other items have been spruced or discarded. We've discovered nooks and crannies, attic space and crawl space, not to mention a backyard that's just large enough for the odors of neighboring animalia (and their ordure) to dissipate long enough to allow basking in sunsets and snacking on salami.

What's more is that even whilst typing in a library crying impending academia I am hopeful, even believing in a future that smacks of stability, serenity and joy.

TRANSFORMERS---more than meets the eye!

Much to my chagrin I was wooed alongside nine year old boys and thirtysomething video gamers (ahem! er, uh *cough cough*) by some really bracing pacing in the latest Transformers trailer---I think it was when I saw Fantastic Four 2 (ahem! mrrrm *cough cough*)---and I came to see yet another Jerry Bruckheimer/ Michaeal Bay effort, a CGI-glutted, rock 'em sock 'em, adrenaline packed, testerone-laden excuse for two plus hours of my day. Surprisingly, I wasn't as disappointed as I thought I would be! (How's that for the cup is half-full?)

I won't bother with summary, etc. but will say that fans of the cartoon will feel a renewed sense of manly security when they hear Optimus Prime's booming, pseudo-synthesizer radiating in voice over and reminding we measly humans that all will be well. The voice (done by Peter Cullen, who, incidentally, is also the voice of Eeyore) silences the noise of terrorism (a la rumors of war), government and corporate corruption, or even the daily mundanities of trying to muck out a living. It's downright therapeutic. I may just get the movie only to replay those moments when I'm stressed.

It was the above, however, that caught me off guard. While the Transformers are in fact souped up courtesy of legions of computer artists, they're still very much the ones we remember in the 80's, (well, except in one scene where Bumblebee "lubricates" on a covert agent). Furthermore, Shia LaBeouf is the saving grace of the movie. He's unavoidably likeable, of course, but he also plays the awkward teen wanting a car to impress the girl like a pro. That journey, which lasts maybe one third of the film (or so it seems) is the one that ingratiates, even inures me into thinking I might just give a ---well, you know.

However, this is, after all, a Michael Bay film, and what would any summer blockbuster be without a whole lotta destruction? Trust me, if you're looking for CGI wonder, you'll find it, but you may get more than you wished for... Maybe I'm getting old, but action for the sake of action annoys my inner being. I'm much more interested in how any story element (action included) affects the characters. In other words, the stakes for the characters are what make the action important. Mere survival or even victory (even against giant robots) isn't enough for me to shout "wahoo!" In Transformers, I stopped caring so early that by the thousandth explosion or rolling robot, I could no longer take anything on screen seriously.

But then, what did I expect from Bay and Bruckheimer?

A few random items:

• There's some random wacky robot doing an acid-tripped Johnny 5 impression throughout the film--- I can't be scared by that, but am I supposed to be?
• Why did the female lead have to be like something out of FHM? (Fact is, I wonder if she hasn't been in FHM.) The largely male demographic of this particular movie will unlikely not need any help augmenting their drool capacity, nor their penchant for dreaming foolishly that they're perfectaly capable of dating such a person by any means save an extraterrestrial car. I feel to say to my fellow geeks, abandon such an enterprise! Find a real woman, these pin-ups aren't for you.
• More than a few human beings get annihilated in terrifically gory and or excruciating ways in this movie, including a scene where MegaTron actually flicks a human being away like a bug. Such reminds me of a film instructor who despised Paul Verhoeven for a scene in Total Recall, wherein Ahnold uses a human body for a shield. Is this the nature of blockbuster according to Bruckheimer? The film employs the line "Without sacrifice there can be no victory" throughout, but I wonder if it shouldn't be "Without attrition there can be no box office success"?

Pieces of radioactive evil...

Brace yourselves.
I have the answer to one of life's greatest mysteries. You ready? I can't tell but I think some of you are standing up. That's right, you're STANDING UP while reading my blog!!! Siddown, dangit! I know the fundamental reason why we grow old: bills. Yep. That's right. You heard it here first, folks.

Granted, the bills themselves are innocuous pieces of paper to the physical senses, just ink and shredded, pulpified, dehydrated tree--(the butchers!)--- but to the emotional mind, they're caustic pieces of radioactive evil, the parchment equivalent of hordes of zombies hungry for human brains!! I'm suggesting in my not-so-subtle yet inimitable style that it is the fear of bills that is the root of all suffering, gray hairs, tomato-eye, and the generally stuffy malaise of adulthood.

I don't say that work isn't good for the soul, but doing custodial work just to keep the health insurance industry er... healthy, is not my cup of tea.

Oh, and forthcoming, but not right soon, is my rant of all rants on the plight of the humble custodial worker! CUSTODIANS UNITE!!! Now is the winter of our discontent...

Why oh why???

A few gripes---

• Why oh why didn't they let Genndy Tartakovsky take care of the live action versions of Star Wars Eps 1-3? The Clone Wars vols 1 & 2 are so expertly paced, so deliciously attentive to character development, in short, so incredibly competent that it begs the question: who let George Lucas do Star Wars anyway? When an animator can outshine the live-action version by intergalactic leaps and bounds, why would we accept anything less? I say this realizing that it's a dead horse, but beating the thing just never gets old, and the conundrum proves no less mystifying. I also realize that's a run-on. Sue me.


• This may be old news, too, so brace yourself. Batman Begins is one d*** good movie. I had to say d***... ---okay, I had to say "d" because I haven't the vocabulary required to render my exuberance adequately any other way. I suppose I'm a latecomer to the Christopher Nolan fan club, but I'm ready to graduate to full-on disciple. Of course, if he wrecks The Dark Knight, as have other recent directors and their sequels... ahem!---I'll pour acid on his effigy. My opinion of Nolan is that he's honest. Barring any arguments about the inherent dishonesty of cinema as a whole, he manages to please without pandering, treat and tease at the same time. He respects his audience by not bludgeoning them over the head. (Contrastingly, watch Spiderman 3 for conspicuous plot disclosure given by cartoony newscasters, no less.)

So I've got more... boy do I, but those are just a couple of items I needed to get off my chest.