Monday, February 28, 2005

My indoorsmanship...

As I sit here, my eyeballs are being squeezed like bubble bath balls, and if it weren't for a coma-strength medication pulsating through me I'd have pulled them from their shrinking sockets twenty minutes ago. Allergies. What I get for staying indoors as a child. (Charles in Charge and the A-Team, amongst others, get the credit for that...) Of course, my indoorsmanship is most likely the lamentable cause of my ghastly pallor and an associated revulsion for sunlight as well. I should just give up now and get vampiric teeth surgically installed. Then I could walk around eerily cooing, "Blah, I want to suck your blood" or for the kids, "One vampire victim! *Muffled scream* Ha-ha-ha! Two vampire victims! Ha-ha-ha! *Choking/gurgling*..."

Or I could just commit myself to the local mental institute and save the psychoanalysts and a concerned community the trouble.


  1. i, too, am inflicted with alergies, as well as an aversion to sunlight. (i'm not pale, dammit. i'm alabaster.) happens to the best of us, my dear.

    maybe we should start a support group.