Verbal tussle

I just got in an argument of sorts (argument=me getting hot-headed, other party looking at me like I'm bonkers) with my roommate... Clearly I'm not going to be this servant of God I keep dreaming about... not if I can't help but get into a contentious verbal tussle with anyone who pushes my buttons or contests my opinions. Now I'm surfing the ocean tide of remorse and emotional toxicity that washes in whenever I manage to get out of line... At times spiritual clarity is a curse, if only because it hones the edge of reason and regret.