Okay, so I looked up psychosis and it's pretty much right on the money. Tonight my roomies threw some kind of uber-happy latin shindig and every cell in my epidermis (at least) revolted at the idea. Am I not a party man? I like the night-life. I like to boogie. Or could it be that I am STUBBORN, STUBBORN, STUBBORN!? Hmmm. Food for thought, not to be eaten after midnight. (It gives me the bends just thinking about it.)
If, I may, however: I should justify as I do so well by saying that I honestly feel terrified by said social gatherings with large groups of people, music, and giggly good-times. Of course, I can't clinically verify that I suffer a social anxiety disorder, but even if I did I don't really believe that disorders, especially of the social variety, are anything more than mentally painting oneself into a corner and not being able to leave w/o a good therapist paid at exorbitant rates. So there goes my talent at justification.
Seriously, though, is there anyone else out there who identifies/empathizes/gives a darn? I'm almost certain at least a few people think it's pure idiocy to be frightened of fellow human beings, especially when they're friendly, but I can't help but feel my palms ooze and my brain rattle when I realize I've got to "hang out" in a large group.
Or maybe I'm feeling like Wednesday in Addam's Family Values, stranded at a camp of psychotically chipper white people and forced to endure Care Bears movies. Spewwww!
Ahem! Anyway, as you can tell I could go on forever, if it weren't for a combination of bile and Gatorade mix circling dangerously in my esophagus.
Until later, world!